Sometimes you have to feel bad for BYU Police...

For any of you out there looking for a good laugh, I took a cue from my friend Shannon and decided to check out the BYU Police Beat. This consists of anything from serious threats and harassment to honking a car horn too late at night and setting your apartment on fire trying to heat it with your oven. It's quite addictive, really. Here are a select few highlights with my thoughts (please share yours):

THEFT/ASKING FOR IT

"March 7: A BYU student called police when she discovered her wallet had been stolen. She put the wallet on her desk before she went to bed. When she woke up the next morning the wallet was gone. The student said she leaves a magnet over the lock on her door so that her friends can enter her room. Her credit card has been used at a Provo gas station." BYU Police are investigating the matter and finding her some new friends.

"March 14: A BYU student was carrying his wife’s wedding ring in his pocket to purchase a matching band. When he reached his destination he discovered that it had fallen out of his pocket. The ring is worth $4,200." Perpetuating the bumbling husband stereotype...did I see this on Home Improvement once?

"May 24: A male campus visitor was arrested for shoplifting on May 24 at 3:15 p.m. in the WSC. The man had taken a greeting card, a stuffed animal, some candy and a gift bag." Nothing says 'I love you but forgot our anniversary & my credit card' like stolen goods. But you have to give him some credit: he thought of everything.

"Oct. 29: An 18-year-old male student reported his bicycle stolen from a bike rack near the Tanner Building. The 21-speed dark green and purple women's mountain bike was not locked." How long do you think he debated telling the police that he's riding a women's bike?

HUGE WASTES OF TIME

"March 7: A male student reported his car stolen from the Deseret Towers parking lot Saturday. The officer responding located the car in a different area of the same parking lot; the student apparently forgot where he had parked." How long could he have looked and what was his SAT score?

"March 14: A student called BYU police when she noticed three suspicious males walking around a parking lot. When police responded they determined that the suspicious males were actually grounds crew who had been picking up trash." Did she think they were littering?

"Oct. 27: A male individual was reported yelling in the Eyring Science Center. When the officers arrived, they discovered he was actually singing along to music playing on his iPod." Next up on American Idol...

HONESTY IS THE BEST POLICY

"March 11: A BYU police officer observed a 25-year-old male stumbling across a parking lot near LaVell Edwards Stadium. The man, who smelled of alcohol, said he had not been drinking but when officers asked if he was lying he said yes. The man was cited for public intoxication and is not a BYU student." Would the question 'Are you lying' be your first line of defense?

So there you have it. And you thought nothing interesting happened at BYU! And, you've probably noticed my aversion to posting anything without pictures, so I dug out some old ones that could have gotten us into the Police Beat...

Public Intoxication (it's root beer & I was at EFY)

Unlicensed weaponry (yes, we have His & Hers Nerf guns)

Public Urination (not really)Damage to public property (but you have to admit he looks pretty cool)Piracy (I couldn't help myself)Woops, I think this one's for the Fashion Police.