Out of the Mouths of Husbands

Those of you who know my husband know that he's funny. Ridiculously funny. Like, I-wish-you-wouldn't-try-to-make-me-laugh-while-I'm-trying-to-be-upset-with-you funny. I've taken to writing down some of his one-liners and witty quips because I know I'll regret it if I don't. I hope you enjoy his antics as much as I do...when I'm not making a concerted effort to be angry.

"Just think how much money Rapunzel could have gotten if she'd donated her hair to Locks of Love!" - Buddy
"You don't get paid - it's a donation." - Michelle
"Well, what DO you get then?" - Buddy
"A good feeling and a free haircut." - Michelle
"Well he did do a pretty good job with a piece of glass." - Buddy

(To the tune of 'Do You Hear What I Hear?')
Said the Honey Mustard Pringle to my mouth,
Please do not eat me! (Please do not eat me!)
I have so much to live for! (I have so much to live for!)


"Which one married Lamar Odom? And who dated Reggie Bush? Isn't there another one?" (He can only tell the Kardashians apart by their famous athlete counterparts.)

"Swiper's the worst thief ever. He doesn't even keep what he steals!"

"I don't think I'm going to make it through this movie." (eyes closed, laying on the couch turned away from the screen 15 minutes in.)

"Dora succeeds at everything she does. One day life is going to teach her a lesson and failure is going to hit her like a ton of bricks."

"How did Bugs Bunny get top billing over Michael Jordan in [Space Jam]?"

Most people keep track of funny things their kids say. Teagan still doesn't say much so until she does, he's keeping me hopping.